Description (from Goodreads): An arresting story about starting over after a friend’s suicide, from a breakthrough new voice in YA fiction. dear caitlin, there are so many things that i want so badly to tell you but i just can’t. Devastating, hopeful, hopeless, playful . . . in words and illustrations, Ingrid left behind a painful farewell in her journal for Caitlin. Now Caitlin is left alone, by loss and by choice, struggling to find renewed hope in the wake of her best friend’s suicide. With the help of family and newfound friends, Caitlin will encounter first love, broaden her horizons, and start to realize that true friendship didn’t die with Ingrid. And the journal which once seemed only to chronicle Ingrid’s descent into depression, becomes the tool by which Caitlin once again reaches out to all those who loved Ingrid—and Caitlin herself.
My thoughts: Before starting to read this book I thought for a long time that would I be able to do it. I lost a very important person for me about 7 years ago for suicide and I think that I haven't still gone through it completely. After reading this book I feel happy that I picked it up since it also opened my eyes.
Ingrid, Caitlin's best friend has killed herself. After finding Ingrid's journal under her bed Caitlin understands that there are some things Ingrid wanted to share with her, things that she was not able to tell her while she was alive. Caitlin starts to go through the journal slowly, reading one entry at the time. There entries open Caitlin's eyes and eventually make her understand what Ingrid was going through. Even though she first blames herself she eventually understands that she wouldn't have been able to help Ingrid. With the help of her new friends she goes through the death of Ingrid and finds new things to enjoy. She falls in love, finds a new best friend, makes friends with people she never thought she could be friends with and builts a tree house. I really loved the tree house building part in this book because I think that Caitlin's process in building the tree house emphasizes that process she goes through in herself going through the death of her best friend.
This book is filled with great characters. They are all individuals and you get to know more about them when the story develops. The language, at some points, reminded me of poetry, and I liked that a lot. LaCour beautifully descibes the thoughts going on in Caitlin's mind. Even though the main topic of this book is very dark, this book leaves you happy.